by Al Drinkle
there's no dignity in it
at some point, you just have to commit to this life thing
whether you're a junkie on the street or a lawyer in a suit
you have to breathe deeply and say
“okay. I'll do this.”
and your way or their way, you do it. you live.
the absurdity of it all is oppressive enough
but when the mercury shrinks past a certain point,
inconvenience turns into danger and what little concern
there might have been for fashion is
unceremoniously abandoned
thirty degrees below zero all fucking week which is
great for watching movies
but I also have to work and that's a
45 minute walk away
so I dig out the snowpants that I've had since
I was a teenager
it's one leg in and then the other and then
oh fuck, I forgot to take a piss first
so it's both legs back out and I'll try again in a minute
I'm back and I'm in, suspenders tangled up
over the shoulders and a thick winter coat
overtop the suspenders and then...
fuck! my phone has to be in my
jeans pocket or else it will freeze and
won't play music, so
the jacket comes off, the suspenders come off
and the snowpants come down far enough for
my phone to go into my jeans with the headphone
cable trailing out. snowpants back up, suspenders
tangled over the shoulders and jacket back on,
keeping those headphones out of the way
now I'm overheating as I attempt to lace my boots,
trying to work around the billowing snowpant ankles
and a cat that's maniacally biting and clawing at my laces
then it's a garment that's either called a balaclava or a baklava
(whichever term is incorrect is instead a Levantine dessert)
and a toque over that and finally the headphones, but
for fuck’s sake!!!! forgot to start the music…
jacket off, suspenders down (they're increasingly twisted),
fucking snowpants down far enough to fish my phone out
of my jeans pocket and I select something childishly ironic
like surf or mento to fuel my disdain
snowpants back up, suspenders ineffectually over my shoulders
and jacket on top of it all and I'm sweating my ass off as
I step out into a city that's so fucking cold, the snow doesn't
even bother crunching underfoot
the snowpants go
swish swash swish swash swish swash swish swash
and seldom has life ever seemed so irrational
